Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
smell my finger.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
