you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize