bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
