If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
