Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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