Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I need moral support for this bender
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
