By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
