We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
