i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize