my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
