Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
