Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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