she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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