So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
