i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Michael Bay diarrhea
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
