Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize