due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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