Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize