Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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