i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
