You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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