Cold hands, warm shart.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
