I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
