Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
