i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
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