Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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