Just took my morning after pill in the library
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
