things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
