i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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