is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
