Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
