I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
