i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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