so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had sex on a roof
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
