I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
