Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
