Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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