I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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