she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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