nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
