Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
