I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
