I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
