i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
