if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish they made helmets for livers.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
