There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
