I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
