jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
