nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
this beer tastes like vomit already
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
