Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize