i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
