I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
