All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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