He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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