Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
