we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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