You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
