***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
