After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
