Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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