Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
